Today, the Drug Enforcement Administration published this press release commending Congress on passing an amendment to the the Food and Drug Administration Safety and Innovation Act that bans a host of chemical compounds. I wouldn’t exactly call it innovative, but rather more of the same failed ideology that we have come to expect from our federal government and its drug policy. Nice try though. So, what does this do, you ask? This “negotiated” act of Congress adds 26 synthetic drugs to the Schedule 1 series of banned substances. Schedule 1 substances are those which “have a high potential for abuse; have no medical use in treatment in the US; and lack an accepted safety for use of the drug.” But wait, that’s not all, folks. In addition, this legislation will double the length of time that any substance may be temporarily placed in the schedule 1 category. (from 18 to 36 months) Which means that from here on out, if our nanny state doesn’t like a chemical, they can ban it for three full years. Which on top of everything else means that it will hinder any potentially beneficial research that could be conducted with these substances. You may have heard about some of these “dangerous” synthetic drugs in sensational and hysterical media coverage recently. Thankfully, the feds are finally protecting us from zombies, angry men with baseball bats, growling ladies, car-biters and one-man “mass overdoses.” So, once again, the federal government has sought to protect us from ourselves by attempting to prohibit the un-prohibitable in the name of children and public safety. Don’t worry, I am sure that it will work this time. Or maybe this time next week someone will invent 26 more synthetic drugs to worry about. As Einstein once said, “insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” With this new ban, I can finally sleep(walk) at night with the help of my Ambien prescription. Oh, wait, prescription zombies are cool in the feds’ book.